My “brilliant” English professor, Professor John Weir of Queens College, author of two books, etc., etc., gave us, his creative writing class, an assignment earlier this semester. He instructed each of his students to write down dialogue between two people we don’t identify with, and to not include “he said, she said”. I forgot the purpose of the assignment, but going through it again, I thought it was sweet. Professor Weir always had great ideas for assignments, but it’s a shame he never remembered to go over them!
Writing the dialogue was difficult at first. As a matter of fact, writing dialogue is my weakness. I think I do come up with some great ideas for stories, but my dialogue always suck! It’s probably because my introversion / shyness / social anxiety has limited my social relationships all my life. (Damn you, psychology. I can’t live in denial about my problems anymore.) I don’t know people. I don’t know what people say to each other or why they say it.
Originally, I wrote a dialogue between a man and a woman, but somewhere along the way, I got confused as to who was speaking. It’s easy for me to get confused in other aspects of life as well. Like math! I hate math!
“Jimmy” and “Johnny” may or may not be based on real people. I’m not saying any more… Okay, they were these two geeks in elementary school who seem to have grown up to be really cool people. And they’re more successful than I am. So there you go: two people who I don’t identify with. The dialogue is completely fictional by the way.
I copied and pasted the dialogue from my previous blog, Blogger, that’s now out of commission because I’m a traitor to Google.
“Jimmy and Johnny”
“… Hello. I’m sorry. Who are you?”
“It’s me! Johnny! We were best friends in high school!”
“Did you go to Saint Francis Prep?”
“Yeah. I went to Saint Francis but… I don’t remember. Sorry. I’m in a hurry.”
“Wait! Class of 2008, man! We used to talk about wrestling all the time. We played war during recess like almost every day. I had a crush on Dana. Do you remember?”
“I remember Dana. But Johnny? … Yeah. I don’t remember.”
“Jimmy, right? James Nino. You have the same mole on your face. You talked about removing it some day.”
“Excuse me? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I love everything about myself.”
“How come you don’t remember me? We were best friends in high school. John Mauro? In our yearbook it says, ‘Why does Johnny follow Jimmy around all the time?'”
“… Yeah… Why did he?”
“So you do remember!”
“Yeah... I remember my girlfriend, Dana, cheating on me for some prick named Johnny!”
“How come I don’t remember that?”