31 December 2016 Entry: Professor James Walker and the Final Day of 2016

Hello, WordPress! I actually started typing this entry on 30 December @ 11:30 PM Eastern Time. It takes me quite a while to type an entry, proofread it (because you must proofread your work – unlike MetsBlog.com), and finally click the “Publish” button for submission, so, I knew it was going to be an entry meant for the last day of 2016.

I was typing a post about the time in 2013 when I had to settle for a C grade in Urban Studies class in LaGuardia Community College. That grade is misleading as it should’ve been an A-. It came to be because of the incompetence of a Professor James Walker and, of course, the stupidity of my own self. Halfway typing through the series of events, I remembered how stupid I was, and so, I scratched the post.

But I’m not going to remember James Walker when I list all the people who were influential to me. Why? Because he accused me of having no integrity. Wouldn’t you feel insulted if someone accused you of having no integrity? Would you have tried to argue against that? I have social anxiety so I was too shocked to defend myself. Because my worst fears had come true in that situation: I was evaluated negatively. And he was unprofessional about it.

But it wasn’t like I had no integrity. I was stupid. No. What I did was stupid. I was going to call him stupid. But what he did was stupid. He gave me a C instead of an INC at the end of the semester, which was supposed to be the deal. Long story short: he thought I hacked into the grading system and gave myself the C. Wow! Where did such paranoia come from? My inner psychologist was and still is curious to know!

After briefly being suspicious of me, asking me, “Do I look like someone you can f*ck with?”, we discovered that he made a mistake with the paperwork. But the suspicion prior ruined every chance of him being the cool man I thought he was, of me getting an A, and of me viewing him as a respectable person. I only had a final paper to submit.

Did he think I was petty enough to be satisfied with a C? Because I never was. This post was the result of me seeing that grade again in my transcript. Even if I came to him sooner (which I foolishly didn’t do), he still would have had to submit a grade change. Why did he have to make me sob like a girl in the men’s bathroom after denying me that A-?

Are you, the reader, even know what I’m talking about? Sorry. Sometimes, I just can’t let go.

(So… this post did end up being about the post I scratched.)

2016. What can I say about it? It was the year I gained 20 pounds and became ugly once again, lost my self-esteem, took up cigarettes, finally took up relevant classes and rebounded in school, got promoted at work, moved in with my girlfriend, witnessed Trump win the presidential election, realized how racist and divided the United States really is, got to know and voted for Bernie Sanders, saw my beautiful cat – Marsha – die after getting an abortion days earlier, started taking dad to dialysis and quickly becoming exhausted with it, learned basic Spanish, learned how to play the guitar and play some Oasis tunes, visited New England (Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Maine), visited Philadelphia two months later, became a vampire in Skyrim, started writing Yelp reviews, started blogging, started a WordPress, improved my writing, found renewed inspiration, and lied that I’d be graduating at the end of autumn.

So was it a good year?

Un poco.

I have a lot more work to do next year. I have to fix my place up with my girlfriend, get my GPA above a 3.0, graduate with a Bachelor’s Degree, find a real job, pay off $20,000 in debts, meet minds that are like mine, read more books, write more stories, lose 50 pounds, quit cigarettes, master the barre chord on acoustic guitar, go to Virginia Beach, find a cure for vampirism, make my family happier, make my girlfriend happier, etc.,etc., etc.

I can’t do anything now about 2016 or whatever happened regarding my Urban Studies class. I only have 2017 to look forward to. And it’ll be even better.

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