10 May 2017: It is 12:05 AM…

It’s 12:05 AM on an early Wednesday morning and I’m lying down on the living room sofa with Seinfeld playing on the 60″ television in front of me. Moments before, I witnessed Manu Ginobili and the Spurs beat James Harden and the Rockets in OT in what was an exciting game to get a 3-2 series lead in the second round. My girlfriend is asleep on an adjacent sofa which could’ve held my entire body comfortably. Damn her! My feet rest over the soft armchair as the whole length of my body is too long for this piece of furniture. I’m not going to have a good night sleep perhaps as I’m unable to straighten out my legs, but it’s temporary as I continue to renovate my living space which is turning out to be… nice. Better than before. Because before, the walls were covered in this hideous popcorn paint that made the room appear smaller, and the laminate flooring had gaps in between as the previous installer (my father who doesn’t have attention to detail) failed to properly install them. And under the laminate floor was an entire sheet of this dirty and dusty foam that was rough and multi-colored, as if it were originally part of some cheap piece of furniture that was just thrown in under in a poor attempt to level out an extremely uneven concrete subfloor. And the mold! For nearly six months, I had been living on top of mold! Am I going to die?

It’s almost over, but man, all the physical work I’ve been doing in the past two and a half months has been too much. I learned a lot, mostly about fixing an uneven concrete subfloor. I learned the hard way though. The people in Home Depot led us to waste hundreds of dollars and days of work when I could’ve used a self-leveling compound! A self-leveling compound!

“Trust the professionals at the Home Depot!” My fat rear.

Instead, we were directed to use at least half a dozen bags of Portland cement, each weighing nearly 100 lbs, and bags of sand and gravel. My buddy and I then spent a week applying it all over a 20′ by 12′ concrete subfloor. Then, I had to borrow a tiny angle grinder from a neighbor to level it all out. What a waste of time and energy! And I was intensely sick with a fever doing all this hard work! Was it the mold?!

If there is going to be a next time, I will know about self-leveling compound. I’ll have the money to afford renting a 150 lb floor grinder if I need it. Or I could just hire a real contractor because my buddy isn’t a real one. And, like my father but not as much, he lacks meticulousness! The help he has provided, however, has been invaluable and much appreciated.

I did this all for my girlfriend, by the way. You’re welcome.


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