Thursday, March 8th, 2018
It was 5:41 PM when I finally arrived at my house, having driven 28 miles from Melville, NY to Woodhaven, NY in treacherous snowy and windy conditions. I was in a rage.
When I woke up that morning on March 7th, 2018, I was hoping for a day off from work. At the time, my hopes were not for the sake of my safety, but to please my inner sloth, having suffered from sleep deprivation for the past couple of weeks because I’m a moron who stays up late, either ruminating or reading. But no! Like many others – including the kids, the poor kids, who didn’t get a snow day – I had to go to work. Wahhh! How do you put an angry and sad emoji here?
It was around 2:00 PM. I was at work, sitting at a desk, a screen of eight cameras at my disposal. In all monitors, snow was falling in different directions. I got up from my chair a couple of times to stare out the front door glass and see that the snow was, indeed, real. Yay! I love snow. It fell in place of rain and covered the parking lot in an hour. No half day? I was looking forward leaving early and beating the worst of the storm.
I think of myself as an intelligent driver whose emotions get the best of me. On the road, my greatest enemy, to put it blatantly, are stupid drivers. Stupid drivers! Arghhh! I’ve driven long enough to be able to call them that! S-T-U-P-I-D! Do you know who I’m talking about? Unfortunately, I saw some yesterday during the storm. I’ll give you a few examples. Or a story.
I was driving home on the Northern State Parkway. Going east to west, things were deteriorating. The parkway was covered in slush. Honestly, I wanted to get home quickly. I was doing 40 mph when no one was around, but when there was another vehicle nearby, I’d slow down. I’m selfless when it comes to safety. In the rear-view mirror was a blue sedan, no doubt, going 50 mph, with cars all around. When he passed me by, I managed to see an a-hole with one hand on the wheel and the other holding a phone. Grrr! Stupid! But why do I care? He wasn’t directly affecting me. Why would I give a shit?
Down the road, I was on the left lane of three lanes following a truck whose blinkers were… blinking. I wanted to pass so I merged to the middle lane. From the right lane in front of me was a silver SUV merging in front of me a little too close for comfort. Okay. No problem if you want to merge, but it turned out to be a useless merge! I said that I wanted to get home quickly! This vehicle made no effort to get ahead of the other vehicle she was behind in the right lane, nor did she try to pass the truck! So, with all the open road in front of her, she was blocking me from getting ahead! When the truck merged to the middle, she then merged back to the right lane! What the hell was the point of that?! Grrr! Stupid!
This one was nobody’s fault, but with a few miles left on the parkway, the wiper on my side of the windshield started to detach. What a piece of sh*t that only aggravated the anger that had been building up inside! When it finally detached, I had to turn it off and pray that the snow wouldn’t completely block my view, which it almost did. I drove for about three miles almost blind. I tried countering this by directing air to the windshield to reduce condensation and to melt the ice outside.
When I finally got off the parkway and into the winding road of a park, the road up ahead was blocked off by a fallen tree. So, I did a U-turn and had to go another way around the park. That damn tree shouldn’t have fallen down because the upcoming events shouldn’t have happened. When I got out of the park, I had to pull over at the next available parking to do an emergency stop and reattach my wiper. While I was fixing it, an MTA bus driver honked at me. What an a-hole! I didn’t realize I parked at a bus stop because there was a car already there and the signs were covered in snow. There was no passengers to pick up and no passengers got off. Grrr!
So, when I finally got around that damn park, now with a clear windshield, I was following a silver sedan whose license plate looked New Jerseyan. I put up with their incredibly slow pace, literally going 5 to 10 mph. Nothing wrong with that. Better safe than sorry. I had the opportunity to pass them, but I didn’t because I’m a patient guy. So… what happened next wasn’t supposed to happen… but it did!
They didn’t signal before turning left. Grrr. Followed them into that left turn that was a downhill street. Still slow.
I wasn’t tailgating. I know this because the fool stopped out of nowhere, signaled left to park seconds later, and, with the space I left them, tried doing so, but couldn’t, having to reverse uphill into the parking spot. So, they pulled out – slowly – and I – and others behind me – continued to follow. They kept braking to a STOP going down. When the fool finally reached the “foot” of the downhill, they stopped for a reason I will never know! I braked gently and skidded down. I braked until the pedal reached the floor, but I was still skidding down. It was useless as my vehicle slowly slid down towards the fool’s New Jerseyan ass. I honked repeatedly for them to move their ass. I watched as my front stopped at their back. A collision may or may not have occurred. Grrr!!!
When they – slowly – moved forward, there was no damage from what I could see on their rear. My theory is snow on our bumpers softened what was already a very soft collision, and my vehicle would’ve simply pushed them forward instead of creating a dent.
They pulled over at the mouth of another road and I didn’t bother to stop for what may or may not have been a very soft collision. I just drove on by. I wasn’t going to stop for this b.s. with all the cars this fool was holding up.
After an hour and 36 minutes, I finally made it home, angry. My love for snow didn’t change. My (I don’t want to say hatred) dislike for stupid people only grew… into hatred! No, I’m just kidding. Grrr! I’m not an a-hole, but people make an a-hole out of me.
If there’s anything I took from that day, it’s ideas for my next story.