Writing: “Sinking”

Sunday, March 31, 2019

I try to find the right words

But they are not easy to find

My thoughts elude my focus

Like sand through my hands

How do I speak with efficiency?

It is not a matter with the shape of my lips

I may possess a broken soul that collapses onto itself

There are lily trees all around me

Their white petals landing softly on the sand

They are not too heavy to sink

But I am; and I fall under

Except for the hope of returning above

Because no man can live under anything

Only the dead or the dying

Thought: “Writing in the Third Person”

Monday, March 25, 2019

I want to write about myself in the third person and finally see the world around me. There is a lot going on right now that I cannot keep track of. My mind feels small right now, but some day, I will finally realize everything that goes around me. This very moment, I am like a skyscraper that sways in the wind. It does not know anything.

But from the outside observing, I do.

What wind is swaying me now?

Entry: AKA… The Night Writer

Monday, March 11, 2018

I have recently changed my WordPress name from Socially Anxious Writer. Nowadays, I have been feeling as if I have been labeling myself as something I am not.

Socially Anxious Writer.

“Stop calling yourself that.”

I thought about it. I should stop calling myself something that I do not want to be or it will become a staple in my mind. I could become something better than that. My anxiety has been a private aspect of myself, and I blame it for a lot of things. For failed relationships. For limiting my growth. It has been debilitating.

Here is my attempt to change things up. My new WordPress name is…

AKA… The Night Writer.

It took me about two minutes to come up with that. I did a little research to see if I was copying anyone else’s name. Here is an interesting article I found:

https://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/04/the-night-writer/

*09/28/2019 Update: My girlfriend thought the name was lame so I changed it.

Thought: “Shame”

Sunday, March 3, 2019

There are half a dozen things that happen to me every day that I should be ashamed of. Whether it be my inability to put my money where my mouth is, or an unpredictable bout of rage, or behaving like a child towards my girlfriend.

I am either a sociopath, or I just do not care. I forgot what happened to me the other day where I felt incredibly embarrassed. It could be that I repress it all.

Whatever it is, it is who I am.